Über | Safe Online Dating - Love on the Run
A few months back Alex Wise of Loveawake dating site received a letter from someone highly concerned about a potential online dating partner. The gist of the letter is that the would-be suitor is ready to pack up and meet his internet friend anyplace, anytime but only responds to half of the questions posed. What answers they do give are very nonspecific.
Amy replies, “Two things raise red flags to me- the fact that he doesn’t answer your questions directly and the fact that he will pack up and move anywhere in the country. This suggests he lacks connections or is wanted by Interpol.”
Whether they are a person with the wandering spirit who just loves to travel, a drifter by nature or in trouble with the law, no one can say for sure. But as Amy points out not answering questions should have your instincts ringing like a fire alarm.
It’s easy during the courting phase to get caught up in the rush of emotions. While you would think the pace would be a little slower in cyberspace than the offline world that is not always the case. Two people that are hitting it off online can have just as strong an attraction as people meeting in the flesh. The back and forth can give the impression that they both parties know each other very well; if nothing else online chats that are clicking on all cylinders have a way of establishing a comfort zone.
There’s also the strong pull of curiosity. Naturally if things are going well between you and a potential suitor at some point you will want to have one of those face to face meetings.
But the thing to keep in mind first and foremost is no matter how long you have been chatting online, you really still do not know each other. You hope what the other person tells you about themselves (their appearance, age etc) are true but you won’t really know until you see them in person or at least talk to them by phone. While a phone conversation cannot take the place of actually meeting the other person, like the commercial says it is the next best thing to being there.
You should always be specific in your questioning and keep probing until you get a response that is satisfactory to you and your instincts. Some people get embarrassed by this because they feel it is too much like prying. Well guess what? It is. And since it concerns your safety let alone a possible relationship, it is more than okay to do so.
If you are not getting the answers you desire then be very leery. There are two kinds of lying: the one that won’t answer a direct question truthfully and the one done by omission. Be on guard against both and let your instincts be your guide.